


Cactus

by daeyeols (sungyeols)



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Nobody is Dead, There is just a lot of pain, both of them have issues, love is pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 02:36:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14126262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungyeols/pseuds/daeyeols
Summary: Sungyoon loves to think that he is a safe haven for Daeyeol, and maybe he is.





	Cactus

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be like 1k words tops, but it grew arms and legs. Daeyeol and Sungyoon are both adorable little fluff balls in real life. They are not this angsty and bad. That's on me. I don't know why I am like this.

 

Sungyoon met him in college.

He was two years older than him, but was only a year ahead in studies. Daeyeol majors in business—whereas he majors in finance. They were classmates in some subject Daeyeol was behind at, and everything felt easy and right between them. It felt like they knew each other for years. Daeyeol was charming and easygoing, he was an enigma that made everyone look at him and be in a  trance. There was never a dull moment when they talked, and they almost both have the same interests. They would study together and would group in assignments and projects—it became an automatic unspoken thing between them.

It’s not like Sungyoon didn’t enjoy it.

He loves it.

He loves the attention Daeyeol gives him, even when they’re just walking and Daeyeol stops to brush his hair away from his face or send him memes in chat. He loves it when Daeyeol puts an arm on him, or leans on him too closely while he reaches out for the milkshake on the table.

It wasn’t that hard to fall for somebody like Lee Daeyeol, and Sungyoon was living proof of it.

 

* * *

 

Daeyeol does him first one night in a party.

He isn’t very drunk that much yet, just enough for Sungyoon to feel buzzed and slightly dizzy when he moves too fast or too drastic. Daeyeol just finished a conversation with one of the baseball players, and when he walks towards him Sungyoon feels like everything is in slow motion. It was cliché, but Daeyeol makes him feel like he’s inside a movie.

“You fine? You look pale.” Daeyeol tells him, as he puts a hand on Sungyoon’s neck feeling it.

“I-I’m fine.” he almost chokes up on the words, and the back of Daeyeol’s palm is still there. Daeyeol adjusts his hand, gently holding him by the neck and Sungyoon’s mind is short circuiting.

The room feels hard to breathe in, but Daeyeol gives him the air he needs when the older male pulls him in and kisses him deeply. He smells like alcohol, a whole lot of it, and tastes of it—as well as eagerness and hunger.

He gives in too easily, with his resolve being out the window the moment Daeyeol’s lips crash into him more than waves in the ocean lapping the shore. He melts a little bit the more he touches him. It feels electrifying, and Sungyoon feels a million tiny light bulbs flicker open inside of him.

 

* * *

 

Even though during the day they are not together, at night their bodies are intertwined—where Sungyoon’s mouth would desperately call on to Daeyeol’s name as he grips the sheets tightly. Daeyeol’s sweat trickling down bit by bit as he moves skillfully on top of him, and even in the middle of such a thing Sungyoon thinks he’s beautiful. Even as he explodes inside of him, after he reaches his high, and they spend the rest of their night lying down on the bed, Daeyeol fast asleep just like he usually is after coming—Sungyoon feels lucky, grateful.

That he’s there.

That he’s with him.

That he gets to feel him skin against skin.

That Daeyeol needs him.

He smiles in his sleep knowing that. That he’s somebody relevant in Daeyeol’s life.

 

* * *

 

He sits on Daeyeol’s lap on one of the fortunate times that he gets to have extra time with him. Daeyeol is reading some article on his phone, while he plays with the strands of Daeyeol’s hair.

“Massage my scalp.” Daeyeol asks of him and he does, playing into Daeyeol’s request. Daeyeol closes his eyes and leans back, making little sounds whenever Sungyoon would press on a certain part on his scalp.

Daeyeol then pulls him in so he can bury his face on Sungyoon’s neck, and slowly inhales him. Sungyoon’s hairs raise and he shivers a bit from the gesture.

Daeyeol is whispering sweet nothings in his skin, and he closes his eyes to tattoo it in his mind. The more he talks, the more Sungyoon feels that he keeps falling in a pit. The more Daeyeol’s hands caress his thighs or leaves soft kisses on his neck the more he couldn’t crawl back up to the mainland.

Daeyeol keeps on taking him to his own world, and Sungyoon wants him to. He lets him.

 

* * *

 

If you ask Sungyoon anything about Daeyeol, there’s probably only a little amount of percentage of probability that he wouldn’t be able to answer. The things he know are not only literal stuff seen by any other eye, but also things that Daeyeol probably didn’t even know about himself. That was how confident Sungyoon is about knowing Daeyeol.

Everything came easily for them, their chemistry flowing like silk in the wind. Time flew like that as well.

Daeyeol’s on his last year now, finally caught up on all the subjects and minors he was taking, which means he had less day time for Sungyoon. It was fine by him. They texted each other, and Sungyoon also has classes he had to tend to, so he was also preoccupied. However there are times when he missed Daeyeol the most, especially when he felt weak and anxious about things. Daeyeol was his pill, the only thing that would ease and relax him. His friends were there, and they could do so much to distract him, but by the end of the day it’s Daeyeol who he craves for—who his heart and body longs for.

 

* * *

 

He’s sick, and he stays the whole day in bed.

He feels horrible, his head is pounding and his nose is clogged, his whole body is freezing on the inside but his skin feels hot to touch, and his whole body feels heavy that it literally drags him down. He already threw up the contents of his stomach and he couldn’t bring himself to get up and cook or even drink his medicine.

He falls asleep and wakes up only to muster the energy to drink water, then pass out again. It happens numerous times that Sungyoon has already lost his sense of time, and the next time he wakes up Daeyeol is standing beside the bed, squeezing a small wet towel from a basin.

“You have a fever. I wish I could’ve come sooner.” Daeyeol says to him, before putting the damp towel on his forehead. “You should’ve called me, but ah—it might’ve been hard—nevermind.”

Daeyeol gives him food and medicine, and looks after him even as he continues passing out and waking up again.

He wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to, but the words run dry in his mouth when Daeyeol asks him if he’s feeling better, or that if there’s anything that he needs. It was another side of Daeyeol he has seen just now, and it’s something he felt that was so genuine about it. He wants more of it, undeniably.

 

* * *

 

Daeyeol would always tell him he is busy, and that he doesn’t have time—but the moment he does, Sungyoon eagerly lets him in the room in their apartment and lets him have his way. They move as if they haven’t seen each other for years, and they long for each other as if it was physically painful to be apart.

Daeyeol would always be a bit too excited, and Sungyoon likes it when he’s like that. He likes thinking that Daeyeol missed him so much that the thought of already just being with him ignites a million sparks in his body making him feel that way. He returns fervently, showing Daeyeol how much he missed him instead of saying it. Actions always spoke louder than words, especially with Daeyeol.

Daeyeol was talkative outside of their circle, but when it’s just them he would always usually speak less—it was with Sungyoon where he could only show his real self, where he can unwind down and not pretend to be something or someone else. He didn’t have to impress Sungyoon, or be classy with him or refined. He never felt the need to justify himself with Sungyoon, because the younger would always welcome him with open arms.

Sungyoon loves to think that he is a safe haven for Daeyeol, and maybe he is.

 

* * *

 

_“Who’s Lee Daeyeol dating now again?”_

_“Who’s that?”_

_“That graduating business ad major. Son of Senator Lee?”_

_“I think he just dumped that philosophy major girl? They didn’t even last a month.”_

_“I thought he dated that guy from liberal arts?”_

_“Oh, he dated that guy. They lasted for 2 weeks. The first half of the month.”_

_“The same time as the philo girl?”_

_“Yup.”_

_“Wasn’t he dating that guy from finance? The third year dude?”_

_“My friend went to their shared class. She said they looked like good friends.”_

_“Good friends could translate to boyfriends.”_

_“I think he dated the finance dude. Anybody who gets near Daeyeol is bound to be his victim. It’s not a stretch.”_

_“I vaguely remember his surname starts with Choi.”_

_“He’s such a playboy—“_

_“It’s so fascinating that he’s always had dated people who never even realized they were sharing Daeyeol with like, 2 or 3 people tops everytime.”_

_“I heard he goes for the quiet aloof types.”_

_“He’s a horrible guy. I would avoid a guy like that if it comes for me in a 100 mile radius.”_

_“Don’t speak so fast, Daeyeol might catch you as a victim next.”_

_“I heard from the rumor mill that he’s really good in bed.”_

_“I bet you also heard from the rumor mill that birds can’t fly.”_

 

* * *

 

Sungyoon pretends he doesn’t hear.

His fists are clenched tightly as he tries to focus on his paper in the coffee shop. He has his earbuds on, but it’s been so long since it was actually playing music. His breathing is heavy and shaky.

He wanted to defend Daeyeol, or say something for his honor.

But what does he say?

Daeyeol never made it clear what they were. They only did what they do.

Daeyeol has never told him his feelings for him, but he made him feel a lot of things beyond his imagination. Daeyeol talked about the most mundane things with him and told him some of his secrets, the same way he held him in his arms and run his fingers in his hair.

He feels lied to and cheated, but at the same time he thought if he has the right to be. They were never anything. There was no label. But he allowed it to go this long, because every time he sees Daeyeol his eyes are blinded, and his mind is clouded.

Suddenly everything about them was vague.

He felt as if suddenly he didn’t know who he was. What he is to Daeyeol.   

 

* * *

 

“What are we?” he musters the courage to ask the next time they meet. Daeyeol is putting on his clothes while Sungyoon wraps himself with the blanket on his bed. Somebody called Daeyeol for an urgent thing that he couldn’t put off—and Sungyoon can’t stop but think of the girls in the coffee shop and how they talked about Daeyeol.

He has never doubted Daeyeol before. But now, there was an inkling of something, a crack in the concrete wall.

“Hmm?”

“What are we? The two of us?”

“We’re fuck buddies.” Daeyeol doesn’t even bat an eyelash as he says it, tugging on his  jeans so he can zip it up.

It’s not like Sungyoon expected anything else to be said. It was Daeyeol.

“Why are you suddenly asking?”

“Nothing.”

“Did someone ask you about us?”

“No, nobody did.”

“Good. What happens between us stay between us, okay?” Daeyeol stands in front of him, shirt half untucked and hair still mussed.

“But why?” he almost whispers.

“I don’t want them to ruin this good thing that we have.” Daeyeol says simply, sincerely in Sungyoon’s ears. The older male reaches for his hand and holds it, and gives it a little squeeze before he lets go and finishes dealing with his clothes.

 

* * *

 

When Daeyeol leaves and Sungyoon is left alone spent in his bed, he doesn’t cry. Even though he half expected that he would.

Instead of tears, there was a heavy weight in his chest pinning him down.

He has always believed and clung to everything Daeyeol said and promised ever since they met. He trusted him with every fiber of his being. But now that a line has been drawn, it feels as if he is on the other side of the road, and Daeyeol is driving on the opposite.

Daeyeol will have to keep on driving, moving forward—while he’s a hitchhiker who nobody wants to pick up from the side of the road.

 

* * *

 

He goes to the brightest place he could find in the district that night, and drinks himself to oblivion.

He wants to forget, at least for a while.

He tastes his own salty tears— _finally—_ mixing with the burning alcohol. He drinks bottle after bottle, until he couldn’t feel his own legs and he can barely open his eyes and carry his own weight. The bartender takes his phone from his pocket, telling him he’s calling speed dial.

He jerks awake when somebody holds him by the arm, and he cracks open his eyes to see Daeyeol assisting him in standing. He briefly talks to the bartender, and Sungyoon is way too drunk to function.

“Why did you drink so much when you can’t handle yourself drunk?” Daeyeol asks him as he walks him to his car. “You look like shit, Sungyoon.”

“B-because—you—you did this—“

“I did this to you?”

“Yes.”

Daeyeol doesn’t talk on the drive back, or maybe he did and Sungyoon just couldn’t hear. Just like how he’s purposely avoided hearing things he didn’t like sometimes.

 

* * *

 

Daeyeol invites him to a party for his graduation.

It’s in his house, a huge mansion atop a hill overlooking most of the city. There are a lot of people, mostly Daeyeol’s batch mates. Daeyeol introduces him to a bit of his friends, and even goes so far as dragging him to see his room.

“I’ve never brought anybody up here. Except you.” he proudly boasts as he opens the door for Sungyoon and it’s a big room, but not as excessive or lavish as the rest of the house. It’s very simple and aesthetic. There is a huge glass window that overlooks the city, and it’s beautiful. Everything is so, Daeyeol about it.

When he looks back Daeyeol is sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You like it?”

“Yeah I do. It’s pretty.”

“You know who else is pretty tonight?” Daeyeol smirks as he asks.

“Who?” he asks, even though he kind of knew what the answer was already.

“You.”

“I’m not pretty. Nothing of that sort.”

“You downplay yourself too much. You’re perfect.” Daeyeol tells him as he places a hand caressing Sungyoon’s cheek. He takes a sharp inhale when Daeyeol’s hands move up, sweeping his bangs away from his face.

“I’m sorry. If I hurt you.” Daeyeol whispers, as if he’s scared the words will break as he says it.

They have sex on Daeyeol’s bed that night, taking their time doing it. Daeyeol holds his hands, and kisses him gently as he whispers Sungyoon’s name—and it feels like the first time, when they met and he began falling in a Daeyeol shaped hole.

“I won’t leave you if you don’t leave me.” Daeyeol whispers in his ear when he spoons him after, and he gives out a nod in reply.

There is suddenly a possibility, a newly attached light bulb of an idea, a percentage of probability that Daeyeol is feeling the same way towards him. _It will take time,_ he thinks, but he was always good at waiting.

 

* * *

 

Now that Daeyeol wasn’t attending university anymore, Sungyoon felt very detached from it.

He went to classes and talked to people when they talked to him first, but he was mostly just buzzed in anticipation to go back to his apartment and wait for Daeyeol. Daeyeol’s full absence from the campus has made him realize that he wasn’t that much involved or attached to studying, or the people in it. Even his circle of friends from before seemed far away, and Sungyoon doesn’t know how to salvage it—or if he even should.

He tries to get through the last year of his uni in peace.

He has made a new friend in a form of Kim Jibeom, a freshman math major who he always ate lunch with since they share the same floor in the apartment complex. He hasn’t told him about Daeyeol yet, and he’s still debating internally if he should. Daeyeol is a precious somebody to him, not just any other person—and he wants to treasure him as much as he could.

“Hyung, don’t you have a love life? Friends?” Jibeom asks him one time they were doing homework in the coffee shop across their apartment.

He nibbles on his lip debating whether he should say yes or no—but just ends up smiling vaguely.

 

* * *

 

“Who was that you always hung out with on campus?” Daeyeol asks him when they finally meet up. Daeyeol has a job already, having a senator as a father—it wasn’t that hard for him. It never was, for anything. “I still have eyes and ears on you.”

“Jibeom?”

“So _it_ has a name.”

“We’re friends.”

“ _Friends.”_

“Seriously. He’s a freshman who lives in the same floor that I do. There’s nothing between us.”

“There better not be.” Daeyeol spits out, as he loosens his tie.

This was the first time Sungyoon has seen him like this, it’s as if he was _jealous._

“Are you jealous of him?”

“Why would I? When I know I have you here with me now? Come here.” Daeyeol beckons him to come towards him and he does, just like always. Daeyeol kisses him as he cups his face with one hand, while the other goes down to explore him. He has always loved the way Daeyeol ravishes him and takes him, and when Daeyeol goes to suck on his neck he throws his head back giving him more access.

 

* * *

 

Sungyoon’s graduation day comes up and his parents come from the province to cheer him on. It was fine, he missed them so finally getting to be with them again is comforting. They were mostly just glad their son is finally graduating. Sungyoon is too.

Jibeom is also there, and he gave him a graduation present.

Sungyoon keeps on looking around, waiting for one particular person to show up. He’s still actively in touch with Daeyeol, and the older promised he’d be there. Daeyeol never breaks his promises.

He waits until it was nighttime. He tries calling him but nothing comes through. He sends a hoard of text messages even as he ate with his parents.

_Are you coming?_

_Where are you?_

_Text me back._

_Are you still coming?_

_Call me._

_Can you at least tell me if you’re fine?_

_You promised._

 

* * *

 

He doesn’t reply when Daeyeol texts him to come over.

Daeyeol tries calling him and he rejected every single one, even going so far as turning his phone off. It’s better that way.

He’s cleaning in the apartment when somebody knocks on the door, and when he peeks on it Daeyeol is standing, wearing a suit and looking upset. He stands by the door, not knowing whether to open for Daeyeol or not, but then he remembers he should be upset at him so he holds it in a bit more, going back to the floor he was sweeping. Daeyeol’s knocking is getting louder, up to the point where he’s almost banging the door.

“What the fuck. Why weren’t you opening the door?” Daeyeol steps in inside even though he didn’t let him in, and Sungyoon just goes after him.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why weren’t you answering my calls?”  
“Why weren’t _you_ answering my calls and my texts that day? Not once, Daeyeol did I ever ask for something from you. It’s one thing. Just one thing. Just because you promised me, and you broke it.” he’s shaking from anger as he yells at him, and his emotions are beginning to build up like a volcano. “I deserve an explanation.”

“I had an emergency meeting.”

“That’s it? That’s your huge explanation?”

“Not the whole world revolves around you Sungyoon. I have work and my life that I need to tend to.”

“Don’t you think I don’t know that? I was just asking for a miniscule thing.”

“You don’tㅡ”

“It’s always been about you Daeyeol!”

“That is not true.” Daeyeol points at him, and he swipes it away from him.

“All this time I’ve turned a blind eye to the things that you did, and did everything you pleased, and when I wanted you to be with me it’s the time you weren’t even present. I don’t ask for something expensive or grand. I don’t need luxury. I don’t need whatever material thing you can afford. I only wanted you.” Tears are streaming down his face as he clenches his fists on his sides, and Daeyeol is staring at him. Daeyeol scoops him for a hug, his lean body encapsulating his frame, keeping him warm.

“I’m here now okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I broke my promise. I’m here now. Don’t cry.” Daeyeol repeatedly tells him as he strokes his back, calming him down. “You’re important to me okay? Don’t ever think otherwise.”

“I’m important to you?” he repeats.

“Yes.”

 

* * *

 

He works in a company, close to where Daeyeol works.

Everybody is nice to him, and they treat him like an equal. He works the whole day and Daeyeol would come to pick him up from the office most times so they can eat out and then go back to his apartment. Sometimes they bring food in and eat there, spending their time together.

One of his co-workers ask him if that was his boyfriend picking him up, and he has to politely smile at him and say he’s just a good friend.

Which is true. Partially.

He never asks about Daeyeol’s love life. He doesn’t want to hear and know. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. It’s not like Daeyeol volunteered to tell either. It’s a silent agreement between the two of them. He likes to think that he isn’t dumb, and that all of this will pay off for him in the future.

He and Daeyeol seem like a domesticated couple, yet they are not. They only fuck around, and act like really good friends. It’s not even acting for Sungyoon anymore. He’s gotten used to it. It’s okay. If it’s for Daeyeol it’s okay.

Recently, the older has been getting warmer, sweeter like creamer on coffee. It reminds him of their old days, and the light bulb inside him flickers relentlessly.

When Daeyeol’s touches linger longer, when he gives him an extra kiss, when they talk longer than they did under the sheets, Sungyoon feels euphoric. He soaks every second like a sponge, every touch and every word. If it was something that materialized itself, he would have probably put it in a special box and kept it safe from everything and anything.

Even after all this time, the hope is still alive in himㅡand he knows this small light could become something big and bright between the two of them.

He holds on to that.

That’s why he always chose to stay. If somebody asks himㅡ _if Daeyeol asks himㅡ_ he wouldn’t bat an eyelash to say he would stay.

 

* * *

 

He doesn’t know how to comprehend it.

It doesn’t make sense to him, but at the same time it does.

He wants to throw up, and so he does, in the bathroom, twice. He feels sick in realization, and the pain in his chest is blooming to a tenfold.

Daeyeol doesn’t even have the decency to tell him in person. He sends it through a text message, without any further explanation like they never had something going on for so long.

_I’m getting married. Please don’t contact me anymore. I’m sorry._

It comes like a boomerang out of nowhere. Sungyoon is shocked beyond belief.

 _Of course._ Of course he's getting married.

He even had the audacity to apologize, and Sungyoon has already thrown his phone at the wall in rage. He throws anything that he could see, plates, books, figurines, as if it had any difference and it would change everything.

He’s mad but at the same time disappointed and upset, and his throat is already clogged up beyond comprehension. He’s desperately gasping for air as he wails. If he probably cried himself to death that time it wouldn’t probably make a difference to him.

He should’ve known better to ask Daeyeol a little bit more, or improve himself in bed, whatever it would’ve taken it for him. Daeyeol knew his whole world, everything about him, but he barely knows a fraction of the things that orbit Daeyeol and his life. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he lacked. Maybe he brought it upon himself. Maybe he deserved this shitty life.

 

* * *

 

It doesn't take him a lot, before he can get to the hall where Daeyeol is getting married.

He's not invited. If it mattered at all.

Everything looks sickeningly perfect, that he hid behind a column for so long. He’s shaking, and he feels like he doesn’t belong. Daeyeol has kept him in a bubble between the two of them, perfectly isolating him from contaminating everything else in his life. He has always been a smart man.

He takes a peek at the hall, where people are happily talking to each other and eating and cheering for the married couple. They’re celebrating a happy marriage. Sungyoon is mourning for himself.

Sungyoon sees a woman, pale and pretty, who has her arms linked with Daeyeol. He wants to scream, he wants to yell at her, but he doesn't. Instead he focuses on Daeyeol, tall and lean wearing a suit while talking to the guests. Sungyoon feels like he’s barging in on another person’s territory, but when he sees Daeyeol’s eyes crinkle when he smiles he feels grounded.

Daeyeol was his ground, the stable earth who he moves on. But right now the ground is shaking, shifting away from his footing, and he’s fallingㅡwhile the ground stays as it is.

Daeyeol locks eyes with him, and there is a flash of alarm, then he whispers something to his wife and she lets him go. Sungyoon watches as Daeyeol makes his way to go to where he is, and when he’s in front of him Daeyeol gestures for him to go out. He follows, moving to where Daeyeol is lightly pushing him. When they’re outside, it’s empty and nobody else is around.

“Why are you here? I told you to _never_ contact me again.” Daeyeol is furious, gritting his teeth again.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I knew you would do this. What else did I expect?”

“You’re not answering my question.”

“You’re not answering mine either.” Daeyeol shakes his head. “Just leave. Don’t call me or text me.”

“Why her? How long?”

“Does it matter? Her family is rich and has connections. My father wanted me to strengthen the ties. I have so much to lose.” he sounds impatient now. “Seriously, leave. You have no place here anymore.”

“You don’t mean that. Daeyeol.”

“I do, Sungyoon.”

“I love you. I always have.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore.”

"But did it matter before?"

"I could easily get you in bed."

"Was it always about that?" 

"What else? I told you. We were what we were and we did what we did. There was nothing more than that." 

He can’t stop the tears from his eyes as he reaches out to grab Daeyeol by his arm. Daeyeol was going to remove it off when he grips it tighter.

“Did you ever even feel something for me after all this time? Did you ever even love me?”

“What do you want me to say to you?”

“The truth, Daeyeol. _The truth._ ”

Daeyeol firmly takes his hand off him.

“I have never.” Daeyeol says nonchalantly. As if it were that easy. Maybe it was for him. But for Sungyoon it wasn’t.

"Not even once?" he pushes, his voice almost a whisper that he can barely hear it himself.

“Don’t ever pull off something like this again. I’ll report you to the police.” is what Daeyeol responds to him.

Daeyeol goes back to the hall, not even sparing him a glance. He feels minuscule, shrinking down to the smallest particle. Everything feels numb, and his eyes are blurry.  The very same eyes that are not blind but unseeing. All this time. Every step equates to a painful jab in his chest. 

 

* * *

 

Jibeom spots Sungyoon just outside their apartment complex. He still has his backpack on from lessons, and he calls on to Sungyoon but he doesn’t seem to hear him. He jogs over to where he is, sitting in one of the benches overviewing the park.

“Hyung.” he calls to him, but Sungyoon is unresponsive.

He leans down to look at the older male who seems to be looking at something. He looks but finds nothing particular, just a field.

“Hyung.” Jibeom shakes his arm, but then sees blood on his hands that came from the older. Sungyoon’s arm is profusely bleeding, and his torso is also blood soaked.

“Hyung what happened? Let’s get you to the hospital. Hyung. Look at me.” Jibeom pats Sungyoon’s cheek urging him to look but Sungyoon doesn’t seem to hear or feel him at all.

Jibeom tries to carry him alone with all his might but Sungyoon doesn’t even try to bear his own weight. He’s like lead, and the lack of effort made Jibeom lose his balance.

“Did you hear that?” Sungyoon croaks out. He sounds so distant, even though they're just beside each other.

“Hear what hyung?”

“He said I was important to him.”

“Who said? Hyung. You’re bleeding. Let’s get you to the hospital.”

“He said he’ll never leave me if I don’t leave him, so I didn’t.”

"What are you saying hyung? Who were you talking about? Hyung?"

 

* * *

 

Sungyoon used to have dreams as he slept before.

He would dream that he was a plant. A beautiful, decorative plant. He need not be tended to every morning, once a month or so will have to do. He lives on, because that’s how he is meant to be. Daeyeol would be a porcupine in his dream, small and pointy. He would approach him and envelop him in a hug. His pointy body does not hurt Sungyoon, but neither does Daeyeol feel hurt from the thorns he has. He would dream that they were meant for each other.

It stays a dream, no matter how many times Sungyoon tried to sleep again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Note that this is Sungyoon’s point of view, and that you’ve been seeing things the way he does and he’s making you view things the way he wants you to. If ever you want to discuss something about the fic or ask me, you can always leave a comment below or find me [here.](https://twitter.com/daeyoonism)


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